Well, I found out that I am pregnant on March.5th 08.. I am 14 weeks and 2 days today.. Me and the babys daddy have been together since Jan.24th,2007. I lived in Florida when I first met him and we got together.. Then I had to move to Oklahoma because of family stuff.. however me and the babys daddy love eachother VERY much and decided to stay together.. so we have flew back and forth to see eachother ALOT.. I got pregnant sometime between Jan.23-27th, 2008 because that was the time frame I went to go see him then afterwards found out I was pregnant.. Anyways, the babys daddy is going to move up here so we can be together and we will be getting married in July.. the baby is due Oct.18,2008. I am SCARED about this more then anything in my life! Pregnancy is NOT where I pictured myself right now in my life..

And the thing is Criss Angel means MORE to me then Almost ANYTHING! He has helped me through SOOOOOOO Much in my life and my ULTIMATE GOAL in life is to meet him!

I had planned on going to his big show at the Luxor, before fate threw me this pregnancy thing.. And I have tried SOOOOO hard to always keep the faith that one day I would meet him..

But as hard as ive tried it just seems like I have LOST ALL hope!

I mean I dont have hardly any money to my name now, and ive ALWAYS lived a LONG way from Criss..So I have never gotten the chance to meet him and tell him Thank You for everything he dosent know he has done for me.. for helping me truley believe that life can go on after something TERRIBLE and life shattering happens.., and now it just seems to me like im NEVER going to get that chance..

And ive been sooo discouraged and depressed about it that I just feel like a total embarasment to all loyals.. I mean I have loved Criss and EVERYTHING he has stood for, for the longest time.. but ive never got the chance to meet him or get anywhere close to him or even have him know that I exist..not that I matter at all, but now I just feel like all hope is lost and I never will get that chance..

SO for this loyal the one thing I have wanted more then anything in life is ruined because of pregnancy, but its such a mixed emotion because I really am TRYING to be happy about this whole pregnancy thing... but its like every time I see even a picture of Criss I just feel like im going to BREAK DOWN in TEARS!!!

So one unplanned child (Check) and ONE Life Long Dream Officially SHATTERED! (Check)

Call it throwing a pitty party if u wish, but I really just feel like Crawling under a Rock FOREVER!

Thanks for reading this little rant,

*Starlite - The Loyal

myspace.com/tourmented_byond